It's been a year now...We'll never forget you...We love you..We miss you...

Di mana akan ku cari ..

Aku menangis seorang diri..

Hatiku selalu ingin bertemu..

Untukmu aku menyanyi..

Untuk Ayah tercinta..

Aku ingin menyanyi..

Walau airmata di pipi ku...

Ayah dengarkanlah aku ingin berjumpa..

Walau hanya dalam mimpi...

Lihatlah ..Hari berlalu...

Namun tiada seindah dulu..

Datanglah..Aku ingin bertemu..

Untukmu aku menyanyi...

I remembered receiving a call that day.I didn't recognize the number.The lady was talking very fast.Urgency in her voice.She was looking for Dayana..

Me:I'm sorry I'm not Dayana..You got the wrong number.

The lady:Sape ni?Syairah eh?Ni mak pek.Come to mak pek's house now.

Abah sakit kuat.Call your brothers and your mom.

That was too many infos that a can take in a second.And suddenly the tears starts flowing.I called my brothers.I was already crying profusely.My 2nd bro asked.'Y are u crying?'And I said ' I dunno cos mak pek said abah sakit kuat'.I called my mum up.At that moment I was scared that my mum didn't bring her phone or that she'll never answer.Cos my mum seldom bring her hp out.Tapi kuasa Tuhan she answered my call that day.

I told her what happened.That we need to get to Mak pek's house asap.I rushed to my assort.With tears still flowing I told her that I need to leave now.My dad's really sick.I couldnt think straight cos i fear for the worst.I called my aunt and she said the ambulance's sending my dad to SGH.

I called my mum and asked to proceed to SGH.I was praying hard in the cab that my dad will be ok.

I got a call from my 2nd bro and he asked me where am I.I said I'm otw to meet mummy at SGH.Cos that's where my aunt said he'll be sent to.But my bro said that they're already sending abah to CGH.I was feeling very2 confused at that time.

I picked my mum up and we asked the cab driver to send us to CGH.It was peak hours and the jam was very bad.In the cab, my mum and I were very silent and I know both of us were praying realli hard.

I received a call from my yayi and he said

Yayi: Syairah..ape abg qalid ckp?yayi tak faham la..die nangis2 pastu ckp abah da takde?

Me: (feeling so confused and angry at the same time)Tak tak..Mak pek ckp drg antar abah g hospital..drg pat hospital skrg..

Yayi: oo..yayi tak dgr sgt la..kalao ade ape2 nanti telefon yayi..

I still dun want to tink the worst.No one else called.My bro didnt call me.My aunt didnt call me.He's fine.He's gonna be fine.

After the long ride from chai chee to SGH and back to CGH.I that time i feel cheated.I was so near at chai chee and i could reach there fast.I called my aunt.

Me: Mak pek, Syairah ngn Mummy da pat CGH ni.

Mak pek: Syairah..Abah da takde syairah..

Ya Allah..Only you know how i feel at that moment.My mum and I rushed to emergency ward.

He's really left us..

Thinking back I think there were some signs but I just pushed them away.The night before he leaves us,I had this visualisation.I have this thing where b4 i sleep, my mind will wander ard.I know it's not a dream.I know I'm not asleep.I remembered vividly that ade kematian.I saw pple crying but in the visualisation i dunno who passed away.And then I looked at the mayat.It was my dad.Terus I'm like tersentak and istighfar panjang2.I was like thinkin why was I having that vision.I pushed the thoughts aside.

I was still shocked of the realisation that he's gone.My aunt told me that my dad actually had fainted quite a few times dat day.When he was praying and all alone at home,he fainted.Tapi kuasa tuhan he gain consciousness.He was on his way to my aunt's house.And then he fainted again at the coffeshop near my house.Pple gathered ard him and once again he gain consciousness.He called my aunt to pick him up.My aunt did.My aunt wanted to bring my dad to the hospital.But he insisted that he was fine.

At my aunt's house, my dad seemed better.At that time,my aunt's habib/guru was staying with her.Habib Idris talked to my dad.And then split seconds , my dad was in pain.Habib told him to mengucap.And he did.And He went back to the Almighty.

Habib Idris went to the hospital.And he went in to the room where they place my dad's body.

And with a smile Habib Idris said.

'Masya-allah..Sungguh mulianya Abg Azhari.Bila saya mati nanti saya mahu mati seperti abg Azhari.Senang sekali.Kepada isteri, anak2 abg azhari,Jgn risau suami dan bapak mu itu adalah org baik2.Die selamat di sane.He's a good man.'

He's a good man.

Abah I miss u so much.At times when you are in my dreams,I don't want to let you go.But I know you are in a better place.

I love you.I do.